tell your sister to shave her snatch
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
its liver damage thursday
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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