please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize