He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
