I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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