there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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