Define "chronic" masturbator.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
