nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
