i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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