so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize