I checked into jail on foursquare
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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