whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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