Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
