I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
