I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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