The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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