You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
