no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
