I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
