I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
