I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
