If i come over, it means nothing
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
