Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
