I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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