i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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