But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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