That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
