You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
