just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
