i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
