I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
