I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
