Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
