I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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