Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
