She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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