he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
