Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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