I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
