so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
