She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize