Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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