That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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