just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Drunk is a universal language darling
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
