sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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