What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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