That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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