3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
