WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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