Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
