Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
