tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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