Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
