Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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