I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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