Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
