There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
