is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
whose parrot is this?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
