after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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