my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
