Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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