what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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